The readers have spoken, and the era of peak Microsoft is… open to debate.
We asked The Register‘s nearest and dearest for thoughts on if, and when, peak Microsoft occurred. Up for grabs was one of Microsoft’s Ugly Christmas sweaters: the Artifact Sweater, which appears to have already sold out in the company’s store, and so is doubly exclusive.
Aside from the inevitable quip from user Korev – “I’m actually afraid to comment in case I win” – the question prompted somewhat of a debate. Admiral Grace Hopper commented: “Windows NT 3.51 was the last serious OS that Microsoft produced before the GDI was moved into the kernel. Everything since has had an element of comedy about it, whether intentional or not.”
Which is the correct answer, though many would disagree.
Others suggested the company’s doomed foray into mobile devices during the era of Windows Phone, or various operating system milestones (or millstones, depending on where you were in the support chain). Davemcwish commented that it had to be Windows 95: “For me it has to be a launch event where you had Gates, Balmer et al. on stage trying to be cool dancing to the Rolling Stones prior to sheeples lining up to buy the new OS shiny at midnight.”
Ah, yes, the Microsoft dances. Perhaps not a peak, but definitely something to cringe at so hard that permanent spinal damage is possible.
And then there was speculation that Microsoft might not have yet reached a peak. Dr. G. Freeman commented: “Peak would mean a maximum – it still has a little way to go to be totally annoying, unusable, and be a complete waste of space.”
Some were quite specific. STOP_FORTH went for more of a hillock than a peak with “Windows Task Manager on XP SP2.” We asked the original author of Task Manager, Dave Plummer, what he thought, and while the former Microsoft engineer was loath to name a peak, he said: “Personally, I’m fond of the NT4 SUR release … I’m a fan of XP as a high water mark, but wouldn’t want to call it their ‘peak.'”
For a while, Ravester’s “Peak Microsoft twas when Gandalf’s hair was still brown and his beard was mere stubble” was the leading contender, but the winner has to be Wolfetone.
“Micro$oft peaked when they released Clippy,” Wolfetone wrote. “And I would quite like the jumper, and I promise to wear it the day my wife goes in to labour for our second child which is due 23rd December.”
Wolfetone wins, not just for the suggestion of Clippy but for the promise to wear the garment when his wife goes into labor. The thought that the first thing a Christmas bundle of joy will see upon entering the world is a knitwear nightmare festooned with Microsoft’s greatest hits was enough to make our shriveled, grinchy hearts swell.
And let’s face it, considering how much Microsoft software can be found in the education system, wearing the sweater to a birth is undoubtedly the ultimate example of “get ’em while they’re young.”
So congratulations, Wolfetone, and check your email. ®
